“You only get one midlife crisis, so make it count.”
That’s what my friend told me this week when I made a crack about my upcoming birthday.
When does midlife end and …endlife …begin? What’s the number? 48? 55? Rather suddenly the prospect of a birthday set me in a foul mood. I forced a smile and asked her, “Did you have a midlife crisis?”
“Yeah, I did,” she said matter-of-factly.
I was floored. This is a nice girl. A soccer mom and savvy business owner. When did she even have time for an affair?
“So, who is he?” I asked.
Huh?! A million questions charged through my mind.
“It’s not what you think.”
My friend’s midlife crisis amounted to a monthly girls’ sleepover. She leaves behind her kid and husband to hang out with a girlfriend. The draw: being someone else for a little while, not “mom.” My friend and her buddy drink wine, stay up late and watch bad reality TV. They talk about old flames and who knows what else.
Dear readers, let your imaginations fill in the rest. Especially if you are contemplating a mid-life crisis of your own.
My friend’s midlife crisis – what I now understand to be the phenomenon that haunts ALL moms’ at least once in a while – is a simple need to get away from it all.
We love our husbands. Adore our children. Embrace our responsibilities until we are pretty much crushed by them. Until we want to get away from it all. According to Psychology Today, one of the worst things busy women do is put their friendships on the back burner.
Shhh. I don’t want my family to think I don’t love them with all my heart, because I really, really do. But that saying about taking time to smell the roses? How do you do that when you’re raising a family?
I don’t know but there’s no harm in getting away from it all now and then with a friend. In fact, it just might be the thing that makes your marriage work.