Summer Reading Get Your Sex On

 

                                                   Bite me

Sizzling days and sultry nights heat up my summer Reading List so don’t judge me for seeking smut. I’m no prude, but since reading E. L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey I’ve been hot under the collar, blushing fifty shades of pink.

It’s not what you think. The romance/erotic genre isn’t virgin territory for me.  In fact, after reading Anne Rice’s Interview with a Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles, I discovered Exit to Eden, which she wrote under the pseudonym Anne Rampling. The story centers on a make-believe Caribbean club where sex games and love Hurt So Good. Exit to Eden is fun, harmless and, dare I say, satisfying.  Ms. Rice also happens to be an award-winning author.

Great authors are like rock stars. That’s why I salivate over Larry McMurtry, Cormac McCarthy and George RR Martin. Add Barbara Kingsolver and Jane Smiley to the mix and you see I swing both ways in writers who wow me.

The excruciating anticipation of joining the orgy of E.L. James fans ranging in age from my College Dude’s girl friends to octogenarians at our golf club led my hand to the Kindle On switch and my finger pressed firmly on the Buy button. The tantalizing title page flashed on the screen and pages later I plunged into the lurid world of doms and subs.

I haven’t been this worried about being discovered reading a book since I was ten and stole my parents copy of Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask. That must be why I practically knocked over the hair dryer at the salon when the lady next to me leaned over to ask, “What are you reading?”

“Uh Moby Dick,” I lied, fumbling for the Sleep switch.

Turns out it is all Herman Melville’s fault.

Days before I downloaded Fifty Shades of Grey, I expected to sink my teeth into Moby Dick, become obsessed with Sperm Whales and be driven mad by American Romanticism.

Instead, I fell asleep every time there was an extended soliloquy or narrative. (You have no idea how hard that was for me to admit.)  I craved escapism and sensual stimulation – and it was past Mr. UnHollywood’s bedtime.

Fifty Shades of Grey did not get the fantasy job done. To get my sex on, I must suspend my disbelief. I never did. I did not buy the protagonist, an educated young woman who said Yes, every single time I wanted her to say No. Yes, to getting spanked to the point of needing Advil. Yes, to being bossed around. Yes, to lying to everyone. By the time she finally said No, I no longer cared.

When I complained to Mr. UnHollywood, he said. “Yeah. And don’t you wish you wrote it?”

I’m back to reading Moby Dick. Call me Ishmael.

Author Description

Cynthia Baseman

Cynthia Baseman is the author of 'Love, Mom: A Mother's Journey from Loss to Hope.' She writes about motherhood, the environment and education.

There are 14 comments. Add yours

  1. 24th July 2012 | susan kolko says: Reply
    I love all your adjectives. You could write a book on just that part of speech! I have not read the book nor did I really feel the interest.You have confirmed that my lack of effort is not so surprising.
  2. 21st July 2012 | bennett says: Reply
    Hi Baseman! Liked the comments! Seemed honest and consistant with how we look at those matters. Makes us think that De Nile (think that is spelled that way. close enough for government work anyway) is more than just a river in Egypt. ::-))
    • 22nd July 2012 | Cynthia Baseman says: Reply
      What are you suggesting Bennett? That I'm an erotic-author wanna-be? We'll have to consult my therapist on that one:)
  3. 19th July 2012 | Ellen says: Reply
    Hi Ishmael, I read all 3 shades, loaned them out and hope not to get them back! Nothing can compare to past youthful pleasures: 1986, Kim Basinger (gorgeous), Mickey Rouke (naturally handsome) in 9 1/2 Weeks....WOW!
    • 19th July 2012 | Cynthia Baseman says: Reply
      9 1/2 Weeks, yes! Thank you for reminding me of quality in the sexy department.
  4. 18th July 2012 | Mgg says: Reply
    I would not waste my eyesight or time reading that smut. I prefer reading Webster's Dictionary to improve my intimate thoughts and physical wellbeing. Mamacita, Great fun reading
  5. 17th July 2012 | Claudette says: Reply
    My frieInd bought me the CD version, for my birthday, and I haven't taken time to listen yet. I have heard so much about it that I feel as though I have already read it. I will take time out before the summer is over and let you know my thoughts. Best, C
  6. 17th July 2012 | Hayley says: Reply
    I enjoyed it and laughed at your clever choice of words. I have Shades of Grey but haven't started yet. Sounds like I'd better get an opaque book cover before reading in public. Everyone says the writing is not too good. But, as your hubby said, "don't we all wish we wrote it anyway?"
  7. 17th July 2012 | Rberk4@aol.com says: Reply
    Moby Dick has nothing on Christian Grey, except maybe the last name keep reading books 2&3 are better. And remember to use your sleep button. Hi to all.
    • 17th July 2012 | Cynthia Baseman says: Reply
      Captain Ahab and I have some unfinished business. Maybe after...but I'm not signing anything!
  8. 17th July 2012 | Ellie May says: Reply
    You are too much BH Mom! I can see you had fun writing this post.
  9. 17th July 2012 | Carpool Goddess says: Reply
    I read Fifty Shades too and I don't know what all the fuss is about. Sooo boring. I did enjoy the Hunger Games.
    • 17th July 2012 | Cynthia Baseman says: Reply
      I'm with you. As long as you like a good series, try Game of Thrones.

Say Something, Why Don't Ya?

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.